Plug Him In

Everytime Ed Miliband says ‘I’m the guy…’ I want to harm myself. He did it again on Today this week. ‘I’m the guy who took on Murdoch‘. If he really was, he wouldn’t have to remind us. Maybe he has to say ‘the guy’ because, he knows that if he just said ‘I took on Murdoch’ it would sound even more preposterous. Besides, does anyone care who he says is? All he has to do is say, ‘these are the 5 things I’m worried about and I want to change’ and stick to them, with fervent, resonant passion. Maybe just three.

So much of politics now feels like watching two well matched football teams who have decided that they will play for penalties two minutes into the game – two teams who will risk nothing until they absolutely have to. No-score-draw politics. This leaves us with a perverse state of affairs where we see Ed Miliband all the time, but he keeps having to remind us who he is. Surely it would just be better to take a breather till the next manifesto, rather than publicly drowning himself everyday in a bucket of empty intent.

Interestingly many of the criticisms aimed at Miliband are the same as those that were leveled at Gordon Brown – weird looking, awkward, non-committal, too brainy, unable to publicly connect despite being privately charming etc. The tragedy of Brown was that he spent too much time trying to correct and compensate for these flaws, when all he had to do on several notable occasions was (a) to tell people to get the f*ck out of his face and (b) show some actual passion. Unfortunately he only remembered this three days before the election in this speech to London Citizens. In places, it’s like listening to really hard music. How on earth did Cameron manage to claim the ‘Big Society’ his idea? It’s crazy – he couldn’t have said any of these things. Im sure if GB had made a few more like this, he’d probably still be the PM. I love the way he spins away and struts around the stage at the end – like something out of WWF wrestling. I hope if they ever make a movie about Gordon Brown, this is in it.

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